Chopper Hostel

It’s been a while since I’ve been this excited about anything. I Somehow have turned what used to be a real shit hole to someplace I’m really happy with. It’s not much, not by a long shot, but I took a plot of land with a house full of garbage and a yard full of diapers and turned it into something cool. Sure, it’s still a cabin in a holler but it’s a cool one.

I’ve been livin’ down in the hole for a few years now, gettin’ by in the winter, improving the property each summer never really givin’ it much thought. The place was a tweeker mating ground and every day I wonder how folks can live like such savages. It’s fuckin’ scary and many of those same junkies make an appearance, never really coming cloose enough to shot ’em but I have hope. But in my little chunk of the world they don’t exist. They’ll die off eventually only to be replaced with a younger generation with only slightly more teeth. Ther’s some dirt-poor folks down here dug in a few generations deep, they’ll be here long after I’m gone.

The world outside the holler is fucked differently, a world of insidious self-destruction on a similar level. The crackheads live a crackhead reality, the acquisition of drugs and how to fund them, the outside world can’t even decide what sex they are. You have three bathrooms we’re pissin’ on trees; things are simpler down here in the holler.

I threw myself down in this hole a few years back. I spotted this junk pile on Facebook Marketplace and four thousand dollars later I owned five acres, I’m up to six acres now I believe and have under ten thousand invested total. When I first started the cleanup process, I was totally convinced I over paid, it was that bad. It took me until this springs cleanup that I noticed that the fight with the savages before me was almost over, a few more trips to the dump and their existence on this property will end, time to make a mess of my own.

The grounds have been cleared as much as it’s going to be this year. There’s plenty of places to throw a tent and there’s plenty of dirt to sit in. There’s a full-sized town 5.4 miles in one direction and a strip club 3 miles in the other. The local club has their clubhouse at the corner of my property and they have a fully stocked bar they’d be happy to open. Weed with a medical card is legal here but I smoke without permission ’cause I’m a rebel and rebels rebel, it’s in their nature Betty.

There’s the New River Gorge National Park that’s a just about 12 miles away and there’s all kinds of shit to do there and it’s fuckin’ spectacular riding. In the same couple of miles, we have world class white water rafting for beginners to expert. River tours and guides are available. The river is what makes this region. You need to try it if you have the time.

I want to have an outdoor shower and bathrooms ready for the first guests as well as a place to cook, like an outdoor kitchen for use open for everyone’s use. I think being able to cook on site has a lot of appeal and I get to eat free. Always an angle. I’m thinkin’ a grill, running water and a refrigerator are a start. What else would you suggest?

The big ass tent will be open to work on your shit, get out of the sun and just hang out in. I’ll have a cobbled together tool selection and bike stands to keep your junk runnin’ as well as major repairs. Bring your own gaskets and what-not or we’ll have to order them, there ain’t no bike shit stores around.

The main thing here is to give you a homebase while you get some riding under your belt. The riding is the whole reason to be here and without the proper invite most of you wouldn’t think to come here. I’m hoping to make this a place to bring your classic and custom choppers to ride and ride with likeminded bike guys and girls (only two choices available). That being said I’m inviting everyone, no matter what you ride or drive, to show up. This is a camping situation, space is limited, no RV’s period…your kind isn’t welcome, if you need that much shit stay home. Cool vans are welcome but don’t get priority camping, we’ll fit you in on site.

The question exactly no one has asked but I’ll answer anyway is ‘what about trailering bikes, will we get shot’? I’m not gonna shoot ya, I promise. The Chopper Hostel is located smack dab in the middle of the woods and in most cases, time doesn’t always permit you riding your pre-Evo bikes down here. I have no problem you trailering your cool shit down here, the possibility of riding the mountains with a bunch of finicky old bikes far outweighs the need to prove a point. With advanced notice I can arrange secure offsite parking (if needed). Throw a gaggle of bikes and your boys in a trailer and make it happen, I’ll make accommodations.

The dates that I’m kickin’ around for the opening party are June 7th-9th. I’ll post more info as it’s available. Subscribe and keep updated on all new updates and info. leave a fuckin’ comment for fucks sake and let me know your opinions and all that shit. Your input is gonna be key to making this a cool thing. Hit me up…

Painter, out